You might be from a small town if:

1. You can name everyone you graduated with
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home
3. You know what 4-H is
4. You ever went to "headlight parties"
5. You used to drag "main"
6. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't
8. You ever went cow-tipping
9. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the 'buyer' for all of the best parties
10. You have parties at the same guy's house
11. School gets cancelled for state sporting events
12. The town social events are their children's
13. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and, if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents, anyhow)
14. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy smokes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them
15. Social acceptance in town depended on the approval of the five old (but rich) hags that met each morning at the donut shop for the latest smut
16. You were ever in the Homecoming parade
17. You have ever gone home for Homecoming
18. You fix up to go buy milk lest anyone starts the rumor that you have gained weight or quit taking care of youself
19. No place sells gas on Sunday
20. Friday nights fun consisted of standing in line for the one screen theater and since it was sold out, watching truckers and drinking coffee at the truck stop (the only place open after 10)
21. You have to drive an hour to buy a pair of socks
22. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town
23. You have ever gone for a walk in the cemetery, on a date
24. You ordered your waredrobe out of a catalog
25. You had senior skip day
26. The whole school went to the same party after graduation
27. The only 'clique' that nobody would be nice to was the skurves across the street
28. You don't give directions by street names or house numbers, but you give directions by references (turn by Armstrongs' Liquor, go two blocks past Andersons', and it's four houses left of the track field)

You Might Be A Redneck If - 16

You might be a redneck if...

• You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South will rise again.
• You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
• You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
• You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
• You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
• You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
• You've never paid for a haircut.
• You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.
• There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
• You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".

Signs You Might Be a Redneck II

You might be a redneck if...

• You've ever made change in the offering plate.
• The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."
• You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm below the shirt sleeve.
• You own at least 20 baseball hats.
• You think a 'cursor' is someone who swears a lot.
• You know of at least six different ways to bend the bill of a baseball hat.
• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
• When you run out of gas, you put gin in the gas tank.
• Your screen door has no screen.
• Your biggest ambition in live is to "git that big ole coon. The one that hangs 'round over yonder, back'ah Bubba's barn..."