Jew Walking into Wall

Q: What happens if a Jew with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.

Notes to the Landlord

"The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."
"Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant. .. ."
"The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?"
"Would you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am an old page pensioner and need it straight away."
"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
"The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."
"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
"Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it."
"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny color and not fit to drink."
"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
"Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us."

Wrong Floor

Two accountants were discussing a colleague's interest in one of the firm's new secretaries. "I just don't get it." said one. "She's an airhead -- nothing going on upstairs. "That may be true," replied the other, "but I don't think that's the floor he's getting off on."