Jokes about Kids

A Cop on Christmas Morning

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light. Next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid tells him yes. The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

A Fortunate Coincidence

John: "I'm glad you named me John."
Mother: "Why?"
John: "Because that's what all the kids at school call me."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Billy's Father and His Mystery Occupation

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"  Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."  "That's wonderful.  How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."  "Thank you, Amie," said the teacher.  "What about your father, Billy?"  Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."  The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day, she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.  Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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