Teacher 911

Q: Why did the kindergarten teacher call the Police?
A: Because a 5 year old was resisting a rest.

Prodigal Son Sermon

One day in church, the priest delivered a sermon based on the timeless story of the prodigal son. When he got to the point where the father sees his son returning and races out to meet him, the minister said "Throwing wide his arms, the father said..." A young boy jumped up & shouted, "YOU'RE GROUNDED!"

An Eclipse

In a science class, the teacher asks her students what causes an eclipse. One student raises his hand and says, "It happens when the moon passes through the sun, causing an obstruction." "Very good observation," said the teacher, "any one else?" A young, blonde girl raises her hand and says, "Japan made this obstruction. They made this eclipse, which my dad drives everyday going to work," she quipped.