A Cop on Christmas Morning

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light. Next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid tells him yes. The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Why Two Nostrils?

A mother was having dinner with her two young children when her three year old daughter asked her why there were two holes in your nose. Her four year old son quickly responded with, "So you can still breath when you pick your nose!"

Too Young

When my wife went in the hospital for surgery several years ago, a rule prohibited children under 12 from visiting patients. Our 11- year- old seemed to understand, but our six- year- old took the restriction very hard. We discovered why she was so unusually upset when we heard her talking to her mother on the phone for the first time. As she said goodbye, she tearfully exclaimed, "I'll see you when I'm 12, mom!"