You might be from a small town if:

1. You can name everyone you graduated with
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home
3. You know what 4-H is
4. You ever went to "headlight parties"
5. You used to drag "main"
6. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't
8. You ever went cow-tipping
9. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the 'buyer' for all of the best parties
10. You have parties at the same guy's house
11. School gets cancelled for state sporting events
12. The town social events are their children's
13. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and, if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents, anyhow)
14. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy smokes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them
15. Social acceptance in town depended on the approval of the five old (but rich) hags that met each morning at the donut shop for the latest smut
16. You were ever in the Homecoming parade
17. You have ever gone home for Homecoming
18. You fix up to go buy milk lest anyone starts the rumor that you have gained weight or quit taking care of youself
19. No place sells gas on Sunday
20. Friday nights fun consisted of standing in line for the one screen theater and since it was sold out, watching truckers and drinking coffee at the truck stop (the only place open after 10)
21. You have to drive an hour to buy a pair of socks
22. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town
23. You have ever gone for a walk in the cemetery, on a date
24. You ordered your waredrobe out of a catalog
25. You had senior skip day
26. The whole school went to the same party after graduation
27. The only 'clique' that nobody would be nice to was the skurves across the street
28. You don't give directions by street names or house numbers, but you give directions by references (turn by Armstrongs' Liquor, go two blocks past Andersons', and it's four houses left of the track field)

From Us

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters "ILU" written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. "Well sweetie, what does ILU mean?" The little girl replies, "I love you."
The teacher says, "Isn't that sweet," and continues with class. The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters "YAS" written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy raises his hand and says, "It means, You are special." "Thank you sweetheart", the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters "FUCK" written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, "Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!".

Group Photo

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael. He's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher. She's dead."