The Werewolf

" Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now comb your face."

Dad's Gift

A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a daughter of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you don't mean..."
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I don't know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."

Christmas Eve Cookie Dough

Every year, Grandma and her grandkids, Suzy, Jill, and Billy come stay with her over Christmas. And every Christmas Eve they would make a big bowl of cookie dough so they could make cookies on Christmas Day. And every time, the next morning the cookie dough would be gone. The grandma could never catch them, so this year she put metal bb's in the cookie dough. The next morning, the cookie dough was gone and soon Billy came running downstairs. ''Grandma something terrible has happened, I was jerking off in the garage and I shot the cat!''