The Werewolf

" Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now comb your face."

Dad's Gift

A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink.
"Well son, now that you have a daughter of your own its time I gave you something."
"Dad you don't mean..."
"Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son.
"Dad I don't know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."

Moving on Up

This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults' table. That's 'cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.