Push Him Aside

Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts.
Well, just leave them on the side of the plate.

Proud Father

When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10 lb healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10 lb because he's only 8.6 lb.Next day at work, the father comes in and tells everyone that the baby is only 8 lb. "What do you mean, he was 10 yesterday?" "Umm, well that was before he got circumcised".

Dropping a Bomb

A dentist, a nurse, and an army general are flying. The dentist decides to drop a tooth brush out of the plane. The nurse drops down a medical kit and the army general drops a bomb. They land the airplane and see what happened... First they found a guy looking for his false teeth. Next they found a guy bandaging his wounds. Lastly they found a young boy laughing his head off. They asked him what happened and he said, "My grandfather farted and blew up his house."