Jokes about Families

Just Moved In

The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it. "It's great," Tommy said. "I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Anonymous

Three Sons, Three Things

A man walks into the ice cream shop with his three sons.
"Josh will have vanilla, Jim will have chocolate, and Fathead will have strawberry." Then the man smacks Fathead across the head. The girl couldn't stand it. "Sir, I can't believe you treat your son like that.'' ''There are only three things in life a man needs to be happy," said the man. "A nice house, a beautiful wife and a nice tight pussy. Fathead here went and ruined that.''

Categories: Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Sex Jokes
Anonymous

Out Of Food Supplies

With four daughters and one son always dashing to school activities and part-time jobs, our schedule was hectic. To add to this, we kept running out of household supplies. I instructed them all to let me know when they used the last of any item by writing it down on a note pad on the refrigerator. As a reminder, I wrote at the top: "IF WE ARE OUT OF IT, WRITE IT DOWN." When I checked the pad a few days later, to my delight I found the following message: "MOM, YOU MAY BE A BIT OLD-FASHIONED, BUT YOU ARE NOT 'OUT OF IT."'

Categories: Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes)
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Anonymous
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