A New Car

One day a mother and father were having sex and their son walked in. "What are you doing," the kid asked.
"Well, you wanted a brother, so we're making you one." The next day, the father walks outside and sees his son porking away on the family junker's tailpipe.
"Son... what the hell are you doing!!!"
And the son replied - "Mom said she wanted an new car, so I'm making her one!"

Pool Collection

Dad, there is a man at the door collecting for the new swimming pool.
The dad replies, "Give him a glass of water!"

Magnet

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now, it was question time... "Class," he said, "My name begins with the letter `M' and I pick up things.... What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"