Jokes about Families

Wife's Heart Attack

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he asks. "I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet, and he's got no clothes on!" He slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife. He rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the floor. "You bastard," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack, and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Heart Disease Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Uncle Jokes)
Anonymous

Motherly Advice

Q: What did the skanky girl's mother say to her when she went out?
A: "If you're not in bed by eleven o'clock, come home."

Categories: Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous

Genius Boyfriend

A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it." "Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, "Fred's ever so clever, we've only been going out nine weeks and he's cured me of that illness I used to get once a month."

Categories: Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Pregnancy Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Father Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Daughter Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes)
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Anonymous
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