Jokes about Families

Tomato Soup

Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!
Shut up, we only have it once a month.

Categories: Food Jokes , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Jokes about Kids
Anonymous

Boy Finds Dead Bird

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, ''Dad, what happened to the birdie?'' His dad told him, ''Son, the bird died and went to heaven.'' Then the boy asked, ''Did God throw him back down?''

Categories: Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes)
Anonymous

Coming Home Late

Dave's friends came up to him after work one day and asked him to go out for a few beers with them. Dave replied, ''No, I can't. My wife gets really pissed if I come home late.'' Dave's friend said, ''When you get home, just go slide beneath the sheets, pull her panties down and give her oral sex. She won't say anything.'' So Dave goes out with his friends and has a great time. When he comes home hours later, he goes into his room and slides beneath the sheets. He pulls down her panties and begins to give her oral sex. She starts to moan and groan. After a while, Dave tells her that he has to go take a leak and for her to wait there. When Dave gets to the bathroom he's stunned to see his wife sitting on the john. ''How did you get here?'' he asked. ''Shhhh,'' she replied, ''my mom is sleeping.''

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother-in-Law Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes)
Anonymous
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