Childcare

When you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

Prime Minister Material

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..
Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.

Daddy's Blowing Rings

Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings."
The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."