Who Would You Trust?

Q: If you were out in the woods, who would you trust for directions? An in-tune tenor sax player, an out-of-tune tenor sax player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out-of-tune sax player! You were hallucinating the other two.

The Twelve Bugs of Christmas

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Ask for a dump. Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it. Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Say it's not supported, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again. For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me, Tell them it's a feature, Say it's not supported, Change the documentation, Blame it on the hardware, Find a way around it, Say they need an upgrade, Reinstall the software, Ask for a dump, Run with the debugger, Try to reproduce it, Ask them how they did it and See if they can do it again.

Halloween Costume Party

On the night of a Halloween costume party a couple were having trouble picking suitable outfits. After a while the wife got mad and stormed out of the room. Fifteen minutes later she came back completely naked except for a lemon between her legs. The husband looked at her for a moment and then stormed out of the room himself. Twenty minutes passed and then he came back himself with a potato around his dick. The wife gave him a weird look and then the husband replied "If your going as a sour-puss, I going as a dictator".