Bellybutton Blunder

Gumor said to Selma. "Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton?" Selma said "No." Gumor asked her again "Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton?" Selma said "No." Gumor asks her again "Selma can I put my finger in your bellybutton?" Selma says "OK." A minute later Selma says "Gumor that's not my bellybutton." Gumor says, ''Suprise, Suprise! That's not my finger either.''

Stolen Broom

Q: What does a witch do if her broom is stolen?
A: She calls the flying squad!

No Worries

A fat teenager is sitting on a park bench eating a huge bag of potato chips.
The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating too much junk food is bad for you." The boy looked over and replied, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". The man replies, "And he ate lots of junk food?"
"No" says the boy, "he minded his own fucking business."