Route 66

A redneck truck driver is driving east on Route 66 when he sees another truck coming west. The CB crackles to life. “Hey, redneck,” says a voice on the radio. “Who are the two biggest faggots in America?” The redneck replies, “I don’t know.” The other trucker says, “You and your brother.” The redneck is annoyed but the other driver says, “It’s just a joke. Tell it to the next truck you see.” The redneck drives for an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on his CB and says, “Hey, other truck, d’you know who the two biggest fags in America are?” The other trucker says, “No. Who?” The redneck replies, “Me and my brother.”

You Might Be A Redneck - Continued

You might be a reneck if...

• You watch "The Dukes Of Hazzard" and have to find someone to explain it to you.
• Your mom kisses you goodnight and you go to school the next day telling everyone you've met your future wife.
• When your wife walks in front of you it looks like two pigs fighting in a gunny sack.
• Your only excuse for smelling bad is it runs in the family.
• Your favorite fruit is chicken.
• You think those yellow traffic signs that say "Slow children at play" means the kids in the area are not too bright.
• At least one of the kitchen appliances on your front porch is more than forty years old.
• You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music.
• You've ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick.

You Might Be A Redneck If - Continued

You might be a redneck if...

• You have to check your coke can before you take a drink just in case you have mistaken it for your spit can.
• You have accidentally taken a drink from your spit can.
• Your wife asks you what you want to be when you grow up.
• You see a forest fire and think 'Bar-B-Q'.
• You've ever strained your tea through a flyswatter.
• Your mother is hairier than your father.
• Instead of flossing you use a plunger.
• You take the back window out of your pickup because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans in the back that way. When the back fills up with empty beer cans, you get another pickup and start all over again.
• Your grandma can bench press a truck axle.