My Pa Won't Like It

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Billy Bob, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Billy Bob answered, "but I don't think my Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on boy," the farmer insisted. "Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but my Pa won't like it." After a hearty dinner, Billy Bob thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my Pa is going to be real mad." "Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?" "Under the wagon."

 

Nails

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

Doctor Doctor Collection

• Patient: Doctor, Doctor I’ve lost my memory!
  Doctor: When did this happen?
  Patient: When did what happen?
• Patient: Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a rubber band
  Doctor: Why don't you stretch yourself out on the couch there and tell me all about it!
• Doctor, Doctor everyone thinks I'm a liar I can't believe that!
• Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in, what about a matchbox?
• Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.
  Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
  Patient: Which one?
• Patient: Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around.
  Doctor: Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!
• Patient: Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a moth.. Get out of the way, your in my light!