Sexist Jokes - About Men

The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot!

A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "$50.00". She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?" "Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it." How bad could it be?, the woman thought. Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table. The parrot looked around and said  "Awk! New House, New Madam!" "Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad." Then the woman's two daughters came home from school. "Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores!" Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad either. Then the woman's husband came home from work."Awk!" The parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores, Same old faces! Hi George!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Prostitute Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
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Anonymous

The Label

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Michigan." And they say blondes are dumb...

Categories: Sexist Jokes (About Men)
Anonymous

Insemination Man

A blond City girl named Amy marries a N. Dakota rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?'
The rancher leaves for the fields.  After awhile, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door.
Amy takes him down to the barn.  They walk along the row of cows and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.'
The man, assuming he is dealing with an air head blond, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know; how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?'
'That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently.
Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?'
The blond turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

Categories: Blonde Jokes (Smart Blonde Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men)
Anonymous
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