Finnegin's Wife Stays Up

Finnegin says, "My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her out of it."
"What on earth is she doin' at that time?" replied Keenan.
"Waitin' for me to come home!"

Polish Ear

A polish construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?" The guy on the street picks up an ear, "Is this it?" "No," replies the construction worker, "mine had a pencil behind it."

What Do You Call 500 Natives Running On The Race Track?

Q: What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track?
A: The Indy 500.