Happy Happy

A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. The first morning of her honeymoon after making love the young Japanese bride crawled out of the bed. When she bent down to pick up their clothes, a fart slipped out. She looked up and said: "Scuse prease, front hole so happy back hole whistle!"

Benefit of Confession

Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me." The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was." The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did. "Was it Mollie O'Grady?" asked the Father." "No." "Was it Rosie Kelly?" "No." "Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?" "No." "Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven." When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness." "No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"

One Stone

There was a native American named 'One Stone' because he was born with one testicle. He hated his name. He proclaimed if anyone ever called him that again, he would take their life.
One day a young woman named 'Bluebird' forgot and called him 'One Stone'. He made love to her until she died from exhaustion.
Years passed an no one called him that again. One day 'Yellowbird' decide to see if it still bothered him and shouted his name. He made love to her for 5 days but she would not die.
He was perplexed.
He asked his chief for help, and he replied, "Don't be silly. Everyone knows you can't kill two birds with one stone."