Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Very Hostile Farmer

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled, the farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Dale Earnhardt T-Shirt

Q: Did you hear about the lady at Wal-Mart that was trying on a Dale Earnhardt T-shirt?
A: She hit the wall three times before she got it off!

Anonymous

Watching For Suicide

Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun? I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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