OLD THINGS.

OLD WANTS never die, they become needs.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just run out of time.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just unwind.
OLD WATCHMAKERS never die, they just wind down.
OLD WEATHERMEN never die, they reign forever.
OLD WHITE WATER RAFTERS never die, they just get disgorged.
OLD WOOL COATS never die, they just become mothballed.
OLD WRESTLERS never die, they just lose their grip.
OLD YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over.
WALT DISNEY didn't die, he's in suspended animation.
There is no conclusive evidence about what happens to old skeptics, -- but their future is doubtful.

Gary Condit's Autopsy

Gary Condit is found dead with a smile on his face. Police investigators find his scorched body and determine he had been struck by lightning. "Why's he smiling?" one officer asks. The other replies, "He thought he was having his picture taken."

Healthy Japan

Q: Why is Japan the healthiest country in the world?
A: Because last time they saw a fat man 80,000 people died