Irish Lamppost

Q: Did you hear about the Irish lamppost?
A: It peed on the dog.

Liberal and a Puppy

Q: What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy?
A: A puppy stops whining after it grows up.

The Dead Dog

There's a man and his wife who own a pub, and have a dog called Fido, who's 24. One day the dog tragically dies, and they bury him but keep his tail separate as a memorial. That night, the man hears a strange noise and rushes downstairs to find the dog's ghost, demanding for his tail back. The man was just about to give the tail back when the wife rushed down and said "Don't give it back! Don't give it back!'' "Why?" asked the man. "You're not allowed to retail spirits after 12:00!"