An Irresolvable Problem

A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged. "Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist. "No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie style." "Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop." "I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."

Santa Suit

Q: What is the difference between Santa Clause and a warm dog?
A: Santa Claus wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!