Come In

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on the front door of a home, and heard a faint, high pitched, "Come In". He tried the door and it was locked, so he went around to the back door. He knocked again and heard again the high pitched "Come In". As he entered the kitchen a large, mean, snarling Doberman met him. As he plastered himself against the wall he called out for help. Again, he heard the "Come In". He slid down the wall to the living room to see a parrot in a cage. He said, "For Pete's sake, is that all you can say is 'Come In'?!" The parrot laughed and said "Sic him!"

A Good Chess Player

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" He exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen." "Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

Irish Lamppost

Q: Did you hear about the Irish lamppost?
A: It peed on the dog.