Dirty Pig

Q: What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig?
A: A groundhog!

Irishman Went to a Pet Shop

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99," replied the shop owner.  "Give us the lot," said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, then he put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur," he replied, "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping!"

Piano Fish

Q: What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can't tuna fish!