Seven Dwarfs in Rome

The seven dwarfs were in Rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?" "Sorry," she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here." "Well, are there any in the city." "No, there are no dwarf nuns." "What, none anywhere in Europe?" "No, little man." "None in the entire world." "Take my word for it." At this 6 of the seven dwarfs burst out laughing. The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?" "Dopey just fucked a penguin".

Rabbit Catching

Q: How do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: Unique up on him.
A: How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: Tame way, unique up on him.

Jewish Dog Does Tricks

A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here." "What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look." And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck. "Rover," says the man, "daven!". "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven. "That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, you could make a million dollars off of him!!" "You speak to him," says the man, "He wants to be a doctor."