Cat Talker

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into the house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.

A German Shepherd Telegram

A German shepherd went to a Western Union office, took out a blank form and wrote, "Woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof.. woof... woof." The clerk examined the paper and told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'woof' for the same price." The dog replied "What, and ruin the punchline?!"

Farmer's Pig Pen

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs screwing up a storm. He would get turned on by this and try to get back to the house in time to screw his wife -- but he always got soft before he got there. So one day, he took his hatchet and headed out to the pig pen. "No!" said his wife. "Don't kill those pigs!" "I'm not going to kill them. I'm moving the pen closer to the house."