Profession Jokes - Pilot Jokes

Cockpit Talk

Two pilots, Rick and Dick, are flying when they start talking about the new flight attendant. Rick said, "Have you seen Svetlana, she's absolutely stunning." Dick replied, "Seen her? I already did her after a flight last week!" Rick said, "Wow man, was she good?" Dick replied, "Well she's not as good as other flight attendants but still better than my wife." So Rick said, "Well I gotta try this out."
So after the flight he gets a drink with Svetlana and one thing leads to another. The next flight Dick asks, "So, what did you think?"
Rick replied, "You're right, we do have hotter flight attendants, but she was definitely still better than your wife."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Dating Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes)
Anonymous

Flying Chicken

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies. The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.
They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."

Categories: Math & Science Jokes (Engineering Jokes) , Math & Science Jokes (Physics Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Chicken & Cross-the-Road Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Make the Whole Country Happy

Dick Cheney, President Bush and Donald Rumsfeld are flying on Air Force One. Dick looks at Dubya, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Dubya shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy." Donald Rumsfeld says, "Of course, I could throw a hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." The pilot looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

Categories: Political Jokes (About Republicans) , Profession Jokes (Pilot Jokes)
Anonymous
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