Big Dick Club Janitor

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads down to the club to apply. The receptionist looks at him skeptically and asks him how large his dick is. "18 inches," he replies, proudly. To his surprise, the receptionist begins laughing uncontrollably, and the man leaves in shame. On the way out, he runs into the janitor, who asks him what's wrong. After he explains, he says to the man not to worry.
"See that lump in my sock?" The man nods. "And I'm just the janitor."

If At First You Don't Succeed

• If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a stupid fool.
• If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.
• If at first you don't succeed, transform your data-set.
• If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
• If at first you don't succeed, well...darn.
• If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway.
• If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
• If at first you don't succeed, your successor will.

Ponderings Collection 41

• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
• How can there be self-help "groups"?
• How do you get off a non-stop flight?
• How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
• How many weeks are there in a light year?
• If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
• If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
• If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
• If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?