Constipation

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table. "The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."

Fly In My Soup

A man eating at a restaurant says to his waiter, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" The waiter replies, "That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor."

Figure the Number

Limerick, there once was a Realtor named Hall, with a hexohexaganal ball. The cube of it's weight, plus his pecker times eight, is his phone number, give him a call!