More Business One Liners

• Any wire cut to length will be too short.
• Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
• Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else.
• Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.
• Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool.
• Anything created must necessarily be inferior to the essence of the creator. 
• Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
• Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
• Anything in parentheses can be ignored.
• Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

Big Dick Club Janitor

A man wants to join the Big Dick Club, and heads down to the club to apply. The receptionist looks at him skeptically and asks him how large his dick is. "18 inches," he replies, proudly. To his surprise, the receptionist begins laughing uncontrollably, and the man leaves in shame. On the way out, he runs into the janitor, who asks him what's wrong. After he explains, he says to the man not to worry.
"See that lump in my sock?" The man nods. "And I'm just the janitor."

If At First You Don't Succeed

• If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use being a stupid fool.
• If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.
• If at first you don't succeed, transform your data-set.
• If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
• If at first you don't succeed, well...darn.
• If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway.
• If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
• If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
• If at first you don't succeed, your successor will.