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Profession Jokes - Farmer Jokes
Farm Boy Brothel
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a brothel. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
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Very Hostile Farmer
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled, the farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once."
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Watermelons
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
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