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Profession Jokes - Farmer Jokes
Farm Boy Brothel
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a brothel. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
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Very Hostile Farmer
A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled, the farmer said, "That's once." A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice." After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do." The farmer said, "That's once."
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That is ONE!
A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had grown tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it just to live in it all alone. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Without haste, he sent for one and on the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for the nearest train station.
After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags into the wagon and then headed for their honeymoon home. They had traveled only two miles when the horse stumbled. The rancher got out and whipped the horse to its feet. He looked at the horse and said, "THAT'S ONE", and got back in the wagon. He then smiled at the woman and continued on their way.
They had traveled only another two miles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagon to whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THAT'S TWO". Then He took his seat beside his new bride and continued on their way.
After traveling another two miles the horse stumbled for the third time. The rancher got out of the wagon carrying his rifle, he walked up to the horse and shot it right between the eyes, saying, "THAT'S THREE". He turned to the wagon only to hear his new bride say, "why in the hell did you do that for, now we have to walk". The rancher turn to the woman and said "THAT'S ONE".
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