Railway HandCar

A tramp finds a hole in a field and throws in a stone to see how deep it is. He doesn’t hear anything, so he drops down something larger – an old railway handcar. As he does so a ram appears and starts charging toward him. At the last moment the man leaps to one side and the ram plummets down the hole. Later the tramp meets the farmer who owns the field and tells him that the hole is dangerous. “I know,” replies the farmer. “That’s why I put a big ram in the field – to scare away the children.” “Really?” says the tramp. “But what would happen if the ram wandered off?” “Oh, it can’t do that,” replies the farmer. “I tied it to an old railway handcar.”

That is ONE!

A middle aged rancher in pioneer days of old, had grown tired of working so hard to build a beautiful ranch house and huge herd to go with it just to live in it all alone. So he thought it would be nice to get one of those mail order brides. Without haste, he sent for one and on the day she was arriving he hitched up his horse and buggy and headed for the nearest train station.
After meeting his new bride, he loaded all her bags into the wagon and then headed for their honeymoon home. They had traveled only two miles when the horse stumbled.  The rancher got out and whipped the horse to its feet. He looked at the horse and said, "THAT'S ONE", and got back in the wagon.  He then smiled at the woman and continued on their way.
They had traveled only another two miles when the horse stumbled again, and again the rancher got out of the wagon to whip the horse to its feet, telling the horse "THAT'S TWO".  Then He took his seat beside his new bride and continued on their way.
After traveling another two miles the horse stumbled for the third time. The rancher got out of the wagon carrying his rifle, he walked up to the horse and shot it right between the eyes, saying, "THAT'S THREE".  He turned to the wagon only to hear his new bride say, "why in the hell did you do that for, now we have to walk". The rancher turn to the woman and said "THAT'S ONE".