Driver's Test

3 friends, Bill, Paul and Tom, get pulled over for speeding. The officer is a very attractive lady, who slowly walks up to the window. After she asks for the Paul - the driver's - licence, he says, "Look, I can't afford this ticket, is there any way I could get you to tear it up?" The officer thinks for a moment and replies, "Okay, I'll tell you what... all of you guys show me your cocks, and if their total length is at least 21 inches you can go free." So Paul takes his out: 10 inches. Bill takes his out: also 10 inches. Tom takes his out: 1 inch making the total exactly 21 inches. The officer holds up her end of the deal, and leaves. After she's gone, Tom sighs and says, "Wow, it's a good thing I had a boner!"

Worries of an Accountant

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself. "I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. "But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "Excuse me?" the accountant said.  "I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back." "I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?" "I'll start you at eighty thousand." "Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?" "That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

Librarian GPS

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references.