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Profession Jokes
Aids or Alzheimers?
A guy takes his ill and aging wife in to the doctor's office. After a full examination, the doc tells the guy it's one of two things. The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimer's disease or AIDS." "What do you mean!" The guy says, "Can't you tell the difference?" "Well, says the Doc, the two look a lot alike in the early stages. Tell you what ya do. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't have sex with her anymore!"
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In Jail
This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of the jail. A male voice yells over to the female side: "I got 12 inches over here you would love to have." The female response was: "Well, spit it out it isn't yours."
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Lawyer Gives Good and Bad News
"I have good news and bad news," the defense lawyer says to his client. "What's the bad news?" The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene." "Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?" "Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
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