Paddy the Accountant

Paddy wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.  The tester asked, " If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"  Paddy replied, "Seven!"
The Tester said, "No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?"  Paddy paused and replied, "Seven!"  Frustrated, the Tester responded, "Let's try this another way.  If I give you two bottles of beer, two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?" Paddy quickly replied,  "Six!"
The Tester was relieved!  "Good!  Now, if I give you two rabbits, two rabbits, and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?" Again, Paddy replied, "Seven!" At his whits end the Tester shook his head and grumbled, "How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?"  Paddy shrugged with a grin, " I've already got one rabbit at home!"

Carrying Cash

A little old lady walked into the bank, cashed a small check, and started out. Passing the armed guard, she smiled and said, "You can go home now."

Judge Has Some Fun

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."