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Word Play Jokes - Private Parts
Nude Swim
Q: When asked why she would swim nude with paparazzi stalking her, what did Kris Jenner say?
A: Bruce took all my bikinis.
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Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies!
(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)
Here's a little story of a man named John, A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone, It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife... Pecker that is, Rodeoed, fillet food.
Well, the next thing you know there's a ginsu by his side, And Lorena's in the car taking willie for a ride, She soon got tired of her purple headed friend, And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend... Curve, that is Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs.
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack, And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back, They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there", To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air... Found, that is, By a fence, evidence.
Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long, So a dick-doc said "Hey, I can fix your dong!". A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need, Then the world held it's breath till they heard that John peed... Whizzed, that is! Stitched seam, straight stream.
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court, With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short). They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape, And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape...Video, that is, Unexposed, case closed!!
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What Is A Penis
On the first evening of their honeymoon, they are sitting on the balcony of the hotel while the sun is setting. "Honey," she says, "now that we're married, will you tell me what a penis is?" He almost fell off the chair when he heard her ask. So, being her husband, he led her into their room and took his pants off. "*This, my love, is a penis." he told her. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "It looks like a dick, but only much smaller!"
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