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Word Play Jokes
Irishman Went to a Pet Shop
Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. "We have 99," replied the shop owner. "Give us the lot," said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, then he put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. "I don't know sur," he replied, "but that's the last time I try that budgie jumping!"
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Pickle Slicer
Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill -- I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, um, she got fired, too."
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In-Laws and Outlaws
Q: What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
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