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Word Play Jokes
Ten Reasons To Buy A New Car
10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
9. Instead of an air bag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
8. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14-year-old on a mo-ped.
7. The 15 minute JiffyLube needs to keep your car for 3 days.
6. When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"
5. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal "The Club."
4. While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.
3. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom, vroom" noises while in the driveway.
2. You keep losing dates on left turns.
1. Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
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Audi CEO
Q: What nickname was given to Markus Duesmann, Audi's CEO?
A: Lord of the Rings.
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Geography Class
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
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