Cheap Room

Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you'll make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.

Australian Kiss

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: It's a French kiss down under.

Tyson and OJ At the Vatican

Mike Tyson and OJ head to the Vatican to meet the pope and get absolved of all of their sins. While waiting for the pope to arrive Mike is eating nuts and throwing the shells on the floor.  OJ gets a little agitated and decides to go for a stroll. He comes back to find the Pope standing in front of Mike giving him the sign of the cross. OJ runs up to Mike and says "Did the Pope bless you and forgive you for your sins???" Mike replies "No, he said  'You (Up) pick up those nuts (Down), get that Nigger (Left) and get the fuck out (Right).