Started From The Bottom...

Proctologist: The rare profession in which the M.D. starts out at the bottom and stays there.

Regular Maintenance

A man pushes his car into the garage and tells the mechanic that the engine just died on him down the street. After a few moments of tinkering under the hood, the engine is purring again. “Great,” says the driver. “How did you fix it?” “Just crap in the carburetor,” replies the mechanic. “Okay,” replies the man. “So how often do I have to do that?”

Claustrophobia

Q: What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia !