Welcome Neighbor

A city guy buys a ranch. He sits on the porch of his new house taking in the fresh country air when a dusty truck pulls up. "Howdy, neighbor!" calls the man in the truck. " I came to invite you to a little Welcome to the Neighborhood party at my place tonight. " "Well, that's mighty fine of you," the city guy replies. "It's going to be great," the neighbor adds. "There's gonna be eatin', drinkin', fightin', and f**kin'!" "Sounds great," the city guy replies. "What should I wear?" "Aww, it don't matter," the neighbor says. "It's just gonna be you and me!"

Happy Song

Bill: Did you here that happy is the worlds number one song?
Bob: Pharrell?

Mexican Sheep

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!