Double

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

Veggie

Q: What is another name for a vegetarian?
A: A missed steak.

Friendly Driver

A man was driving up a steep and narrow mountain road. A woman was driving down the same road. As they passed each other, the woman leaned out the window and yelled, "Pig!" The man immediately leaned out his window and replied, "Bitch!" They continue on their way, and as the man rounded the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.