Butterfly

Q: How do you make a butterfly?
A: Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!

Brown Paper Larry

A cowboy rides into town and sees a gallows under construction.  He calls to a carpenter, "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?"
The guy nods. "Yup. We're fixin' to hang Brown Paper Larry."
The cowboy's brow furrows. "How come he's called Brown Paper Larry?"
"Well," says the guy, "the man always wears clothes made of brown paper. Brown paper shirts. Brown paper pants. Even brown paper socks."
The cowboy ponders this for a moment, then asks, "What are ya hangin' him for?"
"Rustling."

Almost Celibate

"I'm finished with Judi!" Jon exclaimed to his friend. "She broke down and told me she was bisexual. Who the hell wants to screw just twice a year?"