Dear Abby: Lying Cheat

Dear Abby: My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends and supporters. They know he is a lying cheat, but they just avoid the issue. He is a hard worker but many of his coworkers are leery of him. Every time he gets caught, he denies it all. Then he admits that he was wrong and begs me to forgive him. This has been going on for so long, everyone in town knows he is a cheat. I don't know what to do.
Signed - Frustrated
 
Dear Frustrated: You should dump him. Now that you are finally a New York Senator, you don't need him anymore.

Maryland Crazy Laws

Maryland Laws:

• Thistles may not grow in one's yard.
• Baltimore - No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It's a $50 fine. I guess the tramp would have to beg for the money to pay the fine.
• It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
• It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.
• It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.
• It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898)
• Baltimore City - You may not curse inside the city limits. Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
• Columbia - Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.
• You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
• Ocean City - Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.
• A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed) 

Colorado Crazy Law

Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
It is permissible to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.