U.S. State Jokes - California Jokes

Q: How did California get marijuana legalized?

A: They had a high voter turnout.

The president of ABC decided that it was time to build a new factory. He asked representatives from three development companies to come in and make a bid on the project. The three companies showed up at the scheduled meeting. The president of ABC asked the first company, Bruin Construction, whose president earned his MBA from UCLA, " How much will your company charge for this project?"

"2 million," said Bruin. "1 million for materials and 1 million for labor."

Then president then asks the same question to the second company, Cardinal Construction, whose president earned his MBA from Stanford. Cardinal answered, "3 million, 1.5 million for materials, 1.3 million for labor, and 0.2 million for licenses and permits."

Finally, the president asks the last company , Trojan Construction, whose president earned his MBA from USC. Trojan answered, " 4 million."

"FOUR MILLION," yelled the president of ABC. "How do you breakdown the cost?"

Trojan replied, "1 million for you, 1 million for me, and 2 million to get the guy from UCLA to build the factory!

Q: Why does New Jersey have all the toxic waste dumps and California have all the lawyers?

A: Because New Jersey got first pick.

Temperatures and What They Mean

40 Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.

35 Italian cars don't start.

32 Water freezes.

30 You can see your breath. Politicians begin to worry about the Homeless.

25 Boston water freezes. Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you.

20 Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream. You can hear your breath.

15 N.Y. City water freezes. Politicians begin to talk aobut the homeless.

12 You plan a vacation to Mexico.

10 Too cold to snow

5 You need jumper cables to get the car going. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

3 You plan a vacation in Houston.

0 Too cold to skate. American cars don't start.

-5 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo.

-10 Too cold to think. Politicians actually do something about the homeless.

-15 Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-20 You plan a 2-week hot bath.

-25 The mighty Monongahela freezes. Japanese cars don't start.

-30 Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button... Below

-30 The kids call home from college. End of the world...

If a man and a woman get married in California and move to Seattle, Washington are they still brother and sister?