The Right Stuff

A man is ice-fishing on a frozen lake and not having much luck. A small boy comes along, bores a hole in the ice a short distance away and starts fishing himself . After a few minutes the boy catches a huge fish. A few minutes later another large fish is caught, then another, then another. The man is mystified and, after the boy has caught his fifth fish, he goes over to investigate. “Hey, son,” says the man. “What’s your secret?” The boy replies, “Yu haf tu kip yr wrms wrm.” “What was that?” says the man. The boy spits into a bucket, “I said, “You have to keep your worms warm.”’

Orioles, Red Sox, and Yankees Caps

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red Sox-Yankees playoff series, when they see a foot sticking out of some bushes. An inspection revealed a dead-drunk naked woman. One man placed his Orioles baseball cap on her right breast. The Red Sox fan placed his cap on her left breast, and the Yankee fan put his over her crotch. They then called the police. The cop lifted up the Orioles cap, and made a few notes. He then lifted the Red Sox cap and made more notes. Then he lifted the Yankees cap, put it down, lifted it again and put it down. When he lifted it the third time the Yankee fan said, ''What are you doing? Are you some kind of pervert, or what?'' The cop said, I was just confused, usually when I see a Yankee cap, there's an asshole under it.''

IQ & Football

Q: What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
A: Four guys watching a football game.