Man is Lying

Q: How can you tell if a man is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Got Lentils?

Q: What is the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? 
A: I've never had a Lentil on my chest.

Blonde on a Horse

There once was this blonde riding a horse. After a while it began to speed up. She was hanging on by the tail and cut her forehead open. After a long struggle, she was able to climb back onto the horse. She then fell off the side and got her foot caught. The horse was now dragging her. She finally got back on the horse with a broken ankle, bruises all over, and she was bleeding from three different spots. Finally, the horse came to a complete stop. Thank goodness that the manager of the K-mart came out and shut the machine off.