Share this joke via Email (Step 2)
Share this Joke on Twitter
Registered Users Only
Registered Users Only
Get link for other Social Networks
- Home
- Popular Jokes
- New Releases
- Joke of the Day
- Browse By Category
- Browse Writers
- Contests
- Submit Joke
- Contact Us
- Info
All rights reserved.
- Home
- >
- Categories
- >
- Sexist Jokes
- >
- All
Sexist Jokes
The Fowl-Mouthed Parrot!
A woman was walking down the street past a pet shop, and when she looked in the window there was a gorgeous parrot for sale with a sign that said "$50.00". She had always wanted a parrot, but had found them to be too expensive, so she rushed in and asked the proprietor, "Why is this parrot so cheap?" "Well," he replied, "You see, that parrot was in a brothel for awhile, and learned some bad language, so nobody seems to want it." How bad could it be?, the woman thought. Finally, she decided to buy it anyway, as it was such a beautiful bird. She took it home in a cage and put it on the table. The parrot looked around and said "Awk! New House, New Madam!" "Well," the woman thought, "That's not so bad." Then the woman's two daughters came home from school. "Awk!", the parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores!" Well, that upset them a bit, but they tried to laugh it off, and decided that wasn't so bad either. Then the woman's husband came home from work."Awk!" The parrot said, "New Madam, New Whores, Same old faces! Hi George!"
- 4
- 16
- 0
Blonde - Perfect Woman
A man is eating in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous blond eating at the next table. He has been checking her out all night, but lacks the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of her socket towards the man. He reflexively grabs and snatches it out of the air. "Oh my god, I am sooo sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invites him back to her place for a drink. They go back to her house, and after a bit she leads him into the bedroom and begins undressing him. The couple have wild passionate sex over and over all night. The next morning when he awakens, she has already gotten up and brings him breakfast in bed. The guy is amazed. "You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No, she replies.... "You just happened to catch my eye."
- 100
- 195
- 97
Wedding Tombstones
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
- 73
- 141
- 44
