If Men Ruled The World - Drinking

• Instead of a beer belly, you'd get beer biceps.
• On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking.
• St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated monthly.
• Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."

The Wife and the New Car

Over the weekend, Steve bought a new car. He was so excited about it that he had to take a picture of it to bring to work with him to show everyone. The picture was a Polaroid snapshot of his wife sitting in one of the front seats.  Steve crowed as he showed the picture to co-worker Jim, "It's got power steering, anti-lock brakes, cruise control and a driver's side air bag."
Jim squinted at the picture. Having never seen Steve's wife before, he asked, "Who's that?"  "Oh," said Steve with a grin, "another feature, that's my passenger-side wind bag!"

Men Like Paper Cups

Q: Why are men like paper cups?
A: They're disposable.