Stolen Car

A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?" "Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!"  the man replies. The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?" "It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!"  the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally. About this time the cop looks down to see that the man's member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?" The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH GOD . . . they got my girlfriend too!!!"

Perfect Match

Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
A: It matches their mustache.

Men Planning for the Future

Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.